Lullaby
by Kilarra
Summary: “I’ll always be there, Kouji, no matter what happens, no matter where I am, I’ll always be there.” Song used: Lullaby


_Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo_

_Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo,_

"Please, Kouji, can't we talk in the morning?" asked Kouichi tiredly. It had been a long day, as he had expected it to be. The news hadn't been the most… strait forward in nature, which is why he had dreaded telling his brother.

"No, we can not talk about this in the morning!" As expected, Kouji was less than thrilled. How could his twin think he would just take this? He wouldn't- couldn't just accept this like it was nothing. It was not nothing, it was far from nothing, as a matter of fact, this was the farthest from nothing he had ever heard of. No, this was something, something that would change everything.

_Goodnight, my angel, now it's time to sleep_

_And save these questions for another day._

"What were you thinking," he demanded, staring accusingly at the fatigued Kouichi. "Do you have any idea what this means? What it could do?"

"Kouji, please try to understand," the dark twin begged softly, calmly. "This is an amazing opportunity, not every one gets a chance like this. I have to go; I can't just refuse something like this."

"Can't, or won't," the younger brother accused, shooting a cold stare at Kouichi and catching the hurt in his face. A part of him wanted to drop it and pretend nothing was wrong. But he couldn't, things like this didn't just go away, regardless of ones wishes. "Do you even care what this means? Do you care who it can effect?"

_I think I know what you've been asking me _

_I think you know what I've been trying to say._

'I'm not going to be gone forever, I'll be back." He reached out a reassuring hand to his twin, but the boy jerked away, almost animalistic. Slowly, he let his hand drop back to his side, his gaze following. "I'll be back," he repeated weakly.

"That's not the point," snapped Kouji, turning his back to his brother and crossing his arms. His eyes were glimmering strangely in the half light of his room. The full moon reflected off the broken remains of his guitar and the various papers forgotten on the floor from when Kouichi first told him about the program. About the offer one of the men had made. It was good, even Kouji couldn't deny the fact that lots of people were jumping through lots of hoops to get his brother on that bus and off to the special camp. Kouji had his music; Kouichi had his pencil, his paint brush, his clay… his hands. He could bring life to anything, creating the most beautiful things from no more than a blank sheet or lump of shapeless dirt. True, such talents needed refining to become legends, but… Kouji bit his lip, turning it white.

"You can't protect me forever," he wisperd, regarding the light twin through clouded navy eyes. Kouji's fists met the wall, Kouichi flinched.

"Damn it, it's not always about you!" Tears brimmed Kouji's closed eyes even as he fought them. The unspoken question hung in the air. _"What about me?"_

_I promised I would never leave you_

_And you should always know_

"Kouji," the older twin breathed, moving to his brother's side. This time, Kouji didn't fight his brother's touch as he wrapped his arms about him, resting his head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not as strong as you seem to think I am," Kouji tried to laugh, but it came out too choked. Kouichi's grip tightened around his brother, his warm breath brushing Kouji's neck like a gentile breeze.

"No," Kouichi whispered, tears he couldn't fight sliding down to wet his twin's skin. Kouji shudder as they hit him, the warm, salty liquid rolling over his shoulder blade and into his shirt. Its path turned cold, then was heated again by another tear. His twin pulled back, trying to wipe his eyes, but they kept coming, rolling down his cheeks and over his lips. Kouji turned to face the older twin, reaching up to brush the wetness away, but Kouichi backed away, shaking his head. "No, you are so much stronger than that. So much stronger than I can hope to ever be."

"Shhhhh, shhhh, it's ok," Kouji soothed, embracing his twin, but Kouichi pulled away, shaking his head.

"No, it's not ok, this isn't ok, none of this is ok." The dark twin let himself fall onto the bed, dropping his head into his hands. "I'm so weak, I can't even talk. I can't even tell you-" His fingers knotted themselves in his hair, his eyes closed as the tears continued to fall, slowly.

"Nii-san," Kouji hummed, kneeling before his twin and removing his hands from his hair. All the strength seemed to have left his body, he didn't fight.

"Stop trying to make me feel better." His voice held a certain sharpness that cut into Kouji's mind, his eyes, though tear filled, were hard. "I…Kouji, if only you knew" He was struggling with the words, trying to express something deep within himself, like he was trying to show him raw emotion.

"It's ok, I do know."

"No, you don't!" His body was still limp on Kouji's bed, but his eyes were drying and he was meeting his brother's gaze. "You don't know, and that's what hurts."

_No mater where you go,_

_No mater where you are,_

_I never will be far away._

"Then tell me," said Kouji simply, knowing that it was far more complex than his words. "Kouichi, I want to know, I don't want it to hurt." He felt 12 again, like he didn't know his own brother. Even after all this time, all the days spent together, all the nights, all the laughter shared, all the tears… there were still secrets. That was just the nature of darkness; there would always be things he didn't know. But he wanted to; he had to at least try though to know. Know his twin.

"Kouji, I can never leave you." The older twin's voice was sweet, innocent. "I never could. As a child, there was always a part of me that was… gone. A piece of my heart that I couldn't find. Then I heard your name, and there it was. After that, I was always by your side, even though you couldn't see me. Even as Duskmon, I stalked you through the Digital World, despite the pain of the light." He broke off, looking away for a moment and taking in a sharp breath.

_Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo_

_Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo Loo,_

"I'll always be there, Kouji, no matter what happens, no matter where I am, I'll always be there."

"As will I, Nii-san, as will I"


End file.
